NightHumor - Everything is fun when you're tired. The best and funniest picdumps, pictures, videos and quotes. updated all the time.

Category Archives: Clean Jokes

Only Three Doors

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn’t get out of her room. “You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”

The stewardess replied: “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

Posted in: Blonde Jokes, Clean Jokes, Funny Jokes / Tagged:


Drivers Licence

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”

Posted in: Blonde Jokes, Clean Jokes, Funny Jokes / Tagged:


Notre Dame

A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and asks the waiter if he’d like to hear a good Notre Dame joke.

“Listen buddy,” he growled. “See those 2 big guys on your left? They were both linemen on the Notre Dame football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class wrestler at Notre Dame. That guy in the corner was Notre Dame’s all-time champion weight lifter. And I lettered in 3 sports at Notre Dame. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?”

“Nah, guess not,” the man replied. “I wouldn’t want to have to explain it 5 times.”

Posted in: Bar Jokes, Clean Jokes, Funny Jokes / Tagged: ,


A State Trooper

A state trooper pulls over a blonde on a lonely back road and says, “Ma’am, is there a reason why you’re weaving all over the road?”

The woman replied, “Oh officer, thank goodness you’re here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. So, I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. Then, I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!”

The officer reached through the side window to the rear view mirror, and explained, “Ma’am… that’s your air freshener.”

Posted in: Blonde Jokes, Clean Jokes, Funny Jokes / Tagged:


Did You Hear About The Blonde That…

Did you hear about the blonde that…

*Couldn’t learn to water ski because she couldn’t find a lake with a slope.

*Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said “2 to 4 years”

*Couldn’t call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

*When asked what the capital of California was; answered “C”.

*Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

*After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

Posted in: Blonde Jokes, Clean Jokes, Funny Jokes / Tagged:


Interesting Topic

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, “What would you like to discuss?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the stranger. “How about nuclear power?”

“OK,” said Little Johnny. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. “A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”

“Jeez,” said the stranger. “I have no idea.”

“Well, then,” said Little Johnny, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?”

Posted in: Clean Jokes, Funny Jokes, Little Johnny Jokes / Tagged: